Wednesday, August 11, 2010
“What's the deal with all the dumb asses?”
(note: This is intended to be light, whimsical, and perhaps crude...not for the uptight and fussy).
Scholars have debated the “dumb-ass” equation for millenia. I believe it was Marcus Aurelius in the 4th Century, who first confronted this vexing issue with the grand statement, “...what a dumb ass...is everyone a dumb ass or something? ...what's the deal with all of these dumb asses?”
Later in the 17th century, Descartes was known to ponder the dumb-ass issue with the now seminal philosophical statement, “I think, therefore most others don't think, therefore they are probably dumb asses.” Dumb asses have indeed been a pivotal part of each and every society, contributing their lack of purpose to humanity with that sense of overwhelming meaninglessness we have all come to appreciate as light entertainment or occasional horror (as in the idea of people voting for someone based on a hypnotic mantra, “Yes we can”).
Dumb-asses are a particularly relevant segment of the populations at K-mart and government offices. Many achieve high office and contribute to a sort of noble malaise so prevalent in the perennial dumb- ass paradigm.
Attempts have been made to confront the dumb-ass societal affliction with such statements as “don't be such a dumb-ass”.
Dumb-asses seem to manifest eternally. They in fact often serve a great purpose to society's well being by allowing us non dumb-asses to feign sympathy for their unique form of victim-hood. The huge sums of money spent by governments to lift people out of dumb-ass inspired inertia is the finest example of how dumb-asses can help on another. Remember, dumb asses are just like you and me...except they're dumb asses.
